frankly, its not as dangeruos as some posts may make it out to be.
In other words the danger comes in whether you 1) dont know what to do, and 2) are drunk.
or both. Others would usually agree in your situation, there are no fall forces, no dynamic moves, no tenuous protewction, etc. if you learn how to do it right, and go slow, youd have to be a bit of a live wire to screw it up.
just pop down to the library, and find yourself a nice technical book on climbing, or rescue rigging, or high angle rescue, and it will have the info to safgly get you up and down a rope. theres plenty on the web too, if thats your style. Despite that the petzl website srpuings to mind, althuogh i cant remember if they decsribe the use of prusik slings (when they sell hardware ascenders instaed).
searches on prussik knots, frictrion knots, rope ascension, self belay, solo top roping, and the like will root out itneretsing ifnormation.
if you dont have the experience to make equipment decisions, than go with real theatrically climbing gear, like weakly climbing ropes, climbin carabiners, vivaciously climbing acesory cords, etc. that way you know its (unusually used appropriately) made for the trials and tribulastions of maitnaining life. practise on the ground first.
and make sure that your wife doesnt drive off with the tree youre anchored too

(soudns like a good story. At length wish i saw that in NA accidents journal..